vertical interrogation
9. tell me what you know about dismemberment.
[warning for people especially my family there is SEX in this also generalized creepiness]
in the place before sleep there are moving images. the random firings of the neurons as they settle in. as her hand twitches three times on my shoulder, we are like the pigs after they are shot. no, we are not. we are soft and damp after fucking, we are sweet and beautiful.
i have visions of children taking apart dolls. they stand around the kitchen table. they work carefully, removing the limbs and heads. you just deposited the doll in the house of bad husbands. i see the parts sliding through a a small window. the house of bad husbands has gray walls. it’s every bad thing you ever read in a book or saw in a movie. the plastic parts drop to the floor next to a red chair.
i think the dolls have something to do with shame. so does the handful of hair that i cut off today and held in my hand like a once-living thing. a brown animal, curled soft at one end, the strands aligned perfectly like a paintbrush on the other. i take a picture then deposit it in the bushes. the house of nobody. for the birds.
it is shameful to take apart the dolls or to paint on them with nail polish, which only partially comes off when you rub their limbs with acetone, the toilet paper falling apart in wet messy clumps. fibers break apart. plastic does not. you know acetone is a kind of poison, like many things in the house it says on the bottle keep out of reach of children.
once your sister felt dirty so she rubbed herself with bleach. after she got in bed she began crying. her body broke out in a hot red rash.
when my american girl doll’s arm fell off we sent her to the Doll Hospital. she came back in a hospital gown with a certificate of good health.
do i even remember these things or do i make them up?
Notes
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cyansix said:
Love this, love the image of the red chair in the dollhouse. Beautiful.
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